Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Never looked at it this way before... but it is true


When we grow up in a family we just think of Grandma and Grandpa as being old ones of us and the babies are here and they will think the same as we do.  But in the past century things have changed in our world.  The world has become different.  Each generation of people have common bonds that make them different in their thinking from the generation before or after them.  We can no longer expect our kids to think like we do.  Our parents act differently than we do and they certainly act differently than our kids.  Communication in the form of TV, radio, movies, and the internet dictates to each generation how they are to act and think.  How then can we live together as family?  How then can we spread God's word to every creature?   Is there any common thinking that runs from old people to the youngest child?   Is there any pure clean truth that will last over the generations?

Here is some interesting information we found in a collection of material we are using to make a report for our church workshop.   Which group do you belong to?  

Generations
Age cohort groups defined by William Strauss and Neil Howe in their book, Generations (New York: William Morrow, 1991), which are characterized by a shared coming of age experience. The following generational descriptions are currently found on their website,http://www.fourthturning.com.

Builders (born 1901 to 1924)
“The Builders (Strauss and Howe call this group the GI Generation) developed a special and “good kid”reputation as the beneficiaries of new playgrounds, scouting clubs, vitamins, and child-labor restrictions. They came of age with the sharpest rise in schooling ever recorded. As young adults, their uniformed corps patiently endured depression and heroically conquered foreign enemies. In a midlife subsidized by the G.I. Bill, they built gleaming suburbs, invented miracle vaccines, plugged “missile gaps,” and launched moon rockets. Their unprecedented grip on the Presidency began with a New Frontier, a Great Society, and Model Cities, but wore down through Vietnam, Watergate, deficits, and problems with “the vision thing.” As “senior citizens,” they safeguarded their own “entitlements” but had little influence over culture and values.”

Silents (born 1925 to 1942)
“The Silent Generation grew up as the suffocated children of war and depression. They came of age just too late to be war heroes and just too early to be youthful free spirits. Instead, this early-marrying Lonely Crowd became the risk-averse technicians and professionals—as well as the sensitive rock ‘n rollers and civil-rights advocates—of a post-crisis era in which conformity seemed to be a sure ticket to success. Midlife was an anxious “passage” for a generation torn between stolid elders and passionate juniors. Their surge to power coincided with fragmenting families, cultural diversity, institutional complexity, and prolific litigation. They entered elderhood with unprecedented affluence, a “hip” style, and a reputation for indecision.”

Boomers (born 1943 to 1960)
“The Boom Generation basked as children in Dr. Spock permissiveness, suburban conformism, Sputnik-era schooling, Beaver Cleaver friendliness, and Father Knows Best family order. From the Summer of Love to the Days of Rage, they came of age rebelling against the worldly blueprints of their parents. As their “flower child,” Black Panther, Weathermen, and Jesus Freak fringes proclaimed themselves arbiters of public morals, youth pathologies worsened—and SAT scores began a 17-year slide. In the early 1980s, many young adults became self-absorbed “yuppies” with mainstream careers but perfectionist lifestyles. Boomers entered midlife (and national power) trumpeting values, touting a “politics of meaning,” and waging scorched-earth Culture Wars.”

Survivors (born 1961 - 1981)
“The Survivors (Strauss and Howe call this group Thirteeners, or the 13th Generation) survived a “hurried” childhood of divorce, latchkeys, open classrooms, devil-child movies, and a shift from G to R ratings. They came of age curtailing the earlier rise in youth crime and fall in test scores—yet heard themselves denounced as so wild and stupid as to put The Nation At Risk. As young adults, they maneuvered through a sexual battlescape of AIDS and blighted courtship rituals—they date and marry cautiously. In jobs, they embrace risk and prefer free agency over loyal corporatism. From grunge to hip-hop, their splintery culture reveals a hardened edge. Politically, they lean toward pragmatism and nonaffiliation, and would rather volunteer than vote. Widely criticized as “Xers” or “slackers,” they inhabit a Reality Bites economy of declining young-adult living standards.”

Millennials (born 1982 - 2001)
“The Millennial Generation first arrived when “Babies on Board” signs appeared. As abortion and divorce rates ebbed, the popular culture began stigmatizing hands-off parental styles and recasting babies as special. Child abuse and child safety became hot topics, while books teaching virtues and values became best-sellers. Politicians defined adult issues (from tax cuts to deficits) in terms of their effects on children. Hollywood replaced cinematic child devils with child angels, and cable TV and the internet cordoned off “child-friendly” havens. While ducators speak of “standards” and “cooperative learning,” school uniforms are surging in popularity. With adults viewing children more positively, U.S. test scores are faring better in international comparisons.”

Generation Z (born after 2001)
Based upon the historic cycle explained in Generations this newest generation is expected to be adaptive and conforming, following the strong Millennials. In fact, Gen Z is sometimes referred to as the “New Silents”.

The answer to the earlier question is Yes....  There is a truth that is crosses all generations.  This truth was and is and will be forever.   It is found in the Gospel of Jesus Christ our Lord.  Jesus is the Way the Truth the Life.  No man comes to the Father but by Him.  


Monday, May 9, 2011

Get Rid of Bitterness/Unforgiveness


God is perfectly direct and clear with His command to get rid of bitterness: Hebrews 12:15 - Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;   Then in   Eph 4:31 - Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
Let's look at the synonyms for bitterness,  We see varying degrees of "harshness, resentment, grudge, animosity, hostility, indignation, anger, venom, spitefulness, maliciousness, sarcasm, testiness, viciousness, malice, jealousy or envy, grumbling, inability to forgive".
Bitterness is contagious, painful, and if left to grow, can be deadly. So you say you aren't bitter? When we are bitter toward another, we may speak with sarcasm about or to this one. Although this may be humorous to many, it is a sad sign of what is in our hearts. When we are bitter toward another, we may wish other people shared our feelings toward that person and use spiteful rumor-spreading to encourage this.
The bitter roots are not limited to our own bodies and lives. A little bitterness goes a long way to influence others to be bitter toward another. When one parent is sarcastic about or towards the other parent in front of the children, the children then think that is the appropriate way to speak or act. Or, if parents "roast" the preacher for lunch each Sunday afternoon, (or the teacher at the evening supper table) the children then adopt that attitude. Children mimic what they see and hear, so even if you believe your bitterness is well-hidden, it will get "advertised" by your children's attitudes and behavior.
I can always tell how the parents talk about me in the home by the way the children act toward me.  
How can bitterness be deadly? Very easily. When bitterness exists, it will grow, just as a tree grows - putting down roots and then growing limbs and leaves, feeding on every negative word or thought that comes from the mouth or mind. Before long the heart and digestive system can be "strangled" with the roots - contributing to heart attacks, spastic colons, ulcers and other physical problems. If allowed to continue, the physical life of the person may actually end.
Bitterness can kill your relationships with others: friends and family feel your bitterness and do not enjoy being around you.
Spiritually, one who is bitter suffers lack of communication with the Lord. He is so consumed with the hurt that has been caused that he is unable to get past that block of bitterness. He looses the fellowship, the peace, the JOY of being close to God. How terrifying! 
Think of Saul: bitterness grew in Saul for 30 years. He attempted murder of David and Jonathan; he was disobedient to God and eventually committed suicide.
Possibly, someone has caused us great pain, recently or long ago. Our response to this hurt \is our CHOICE:   to allow the root of bitterness to take hold and even grow larger in our bodies or to remove the root by starving it or ripping it out.
 How do you remove the root of bitterness? - by not feeding it with thought, deed or word and then by pulling the root out and disposing of it. STOP immediately when you begin thinking about the hurt or about the person who caused that hurt. Refuse to continue the thoughts that feed the growth 
of bitterness. Replace those thoughts with thoughts of love and forgiveness. Eventually the bitterness will die and you can truly be free of the strangle-hold it has on your life.
Charles Stanley has given an outline on a cure for bitterness:
1. Get alone and acknowledge that bitterness is FUTILE and CHOOSE to put it aside.     Recognize that only you have the responsibility for your actions and reactions.
2.      Acknowledge that God will deal with the offending one (Deut 32:35A - "Vengeance is mine, I will repay")
3.      Make three lists: how you've been offended; your own faults and how you have offended others; and all the things God has forgiven you for.
4.      In prayer and with humility, ask God to help you to see the person who has wronged you as His tool to develop you into the person He wants you to be. Totally and completely forgive the other person.
5.      Ask God to forgive you for all the bitterness in your heart. Totally and completely receive God's forgiveness.
6.      Finally, ask the other person to forgive you for the bitterness you have held in your heart. Personally I would not do this.  The person will know you have forgiven him by your loving actions.  
7.      Repeat these steps as many times as required to completely release the bitterness in your heart.
If you have your eyes fixed on Jesus, knowing He is the only one who had a right to be bitter (and He wasn't),  and you truly repent of your unforgiving heart, you will remove the roots of bitterness that strangle your body and be able to accept the forgiveness that God, by His Grace, so fully gave to His children.
Bitterness enslaves us, Forgiveness frees us as nothing else!! Please, dear friends, get rid of all bitterness.
Finally, commit this scripture to your heart: Ephesians 4:32 - BE KIND TO ONE ANTOHER, TENDERHEARTED, FORGIVING ONE ANOTHER, EVEN AS GOD FOR CHRlST'S SAKE FORGAVE
YOU. 

Early Morning


Let's go for a walk.

Please use your God given imagination and sit back and enjoy.

Just imagine you awaken ever so early in the morning.

Everyone else in the house is sleeping. So you tiptoe out the door.

You are in your bare feet. They are getting all wet in the grass. There is only soft grass and sand to walk on.

You go down the pathway to the garden gate. It squeaks as you open it. You look back at the house to see if anyone else heard.  It looks like no one did.

So you go on the pathway. It is still foggy and not quite light.  The dew is still on the roses. The air is thick with the sweet smell of them.

It is so quiet and peaceful.

You turn around and there in the shadows you see a man. He startled you for a moment but you are really not afraid. As the fog begins to lift you see him more clearly. You still do not know  who He is until He says your name. It is Jesus ....... The Son of  God.

He speaks and the sound of His voice makes your heart so full of joy. You notice the birds have quit singing so they can hear Him too.

He holds out His hand and invites you to come and walk with Him.  You eagerly take His hand. He says to you, "Child, I know you. I know everything about you. I know when you sit down and when
you rise up. I have numbered every hair on your head. I knew you before you were conceived. I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live. I made you fearfully and wonderfully. It is my desire to lavish my love on you. I give you good gifts from above. I am your provider and I meet all of your needs. My plan for your future has always been filled with hope. I love you with an everlasting love. I rejoice over you with singing. I will never stop doing good for you. If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me. Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart. I am your greatest encourager. When you are broken hearted, I am close to you. I died for you. I am the way the truth and the Iife. No man comes to the Father but by me. Will you trust only me? Will you come to the Father? If you come home I'll give you the biggest party ever. Nothing will ever separate you from my love again."

You want to stay in the garden with Him but He says you have to go. He says come back tomorrow morning and He will meet you there in the same place in the garden so you can walk with Him and talk with Him and He can tell you you are His own.

The joy you share with Him is so great it spills over into the rest of your day. You look eagerly toward another morning so you can again go to the garden early in the morning to smell the roses and walk and talk with Him.

You come back up the path and through the squeaky gate. You find all of the family is up and getting ready for the day.

The smile on your face is indescribable. Others notice.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

check this out


This is the genealogy of Adam to Noah and the translation of their names form Greek or Hebrew into English. 

Adam                    Man (is)
Seth                       Appointed
Enosh                    Mortal
Kenan                   Sorrow;  (but)
Mahalalel             The Blessed God
Jared                      Shall come down
Enoch                    Teaching
Methuselah          His death shall bring
Lamech                  the despairing
Noah                     comfort, rest

Read it down and see it is a wonderful prophecy of Jesus!
Isn’t God the best????

Friday, May 6, 2011

Happy Anniversary


Happy Birthday,  Happy Anniversary,  Happy anniversary of our new home and so many more happy days to remember.   Happy first day of school and happy graduation day. 

But there are some other anniversary days that just kind of creep up on us.  Let’s talk about these days. 

Last week a young friend said she was feeling a little bit in the doldrums.  She could not figure out what was going on in her life.  It seemed that she has all her ducks in a row.  But she could not shake that ‘down’ feeling.    When she finally wrote the date she realized it is this month.  “Oh, goodness”, she said.  “ My mom died this month.”   She had forgotten but her body had not forgotten. 

This week, I was visiting with friends and we got on the subject of our divorces.  Not a typical topic.  The next morning I woke up so dizzy and sick.   Dizziness is connected to fear.  After visiting with a counselor friend of mine I began to feel so much better when we were able to connect my fear with this month. 

This month was the month of my divorce and it seems in my dreams I became fearful of the same thing  happening to me again.   I thought all of that ‘stuff’ was behind me.  But down deep in my bad dreams it came forward again. 

When it was pointed out what was happening in my heart I consciously chose to look to God and to put the past in its place.  Behind me. 

  • I choose to not think of those things again.
  • I choose to not feel the pain and heart ache again. 
  • I have so much more to look forward to. 
  • My husband is faithful and true and I am content in his love. 
  • My God is faithful and true and I am content in His love.      

As I go to sleep I ask God to protect my dreams from the fear that only comes from the evil one and to allow only good things to come forward in the night.  I trust Him to protect me. 

So we are talking about these anniversary days in an effort to suggest to you that someday  you may feel a bit down and not be able to figure out why.  Maybe as you  look at the calendar and you will remember a time or a date that is significant in your life.  The death of a loved one or a day that caused you to feel sad or mad.  When you realize it is anniversary reaction to something from your past you will be able to put it all in its proper place and move on toward the future in a wonderful way. 

Philippians 3:13 (New Living Translation)

No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead,

Trust God in all that you do.  Know He has your life planned out for you if you are willing. 

Have a great day.  Sue  

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Rearing Teenagers


When the boys were growing up I suddenly became aware all 4 boys were teenagers.  Yikes!!!  I thought.

These are very important years for young men and women.  This is when they begin to really stretch their wings and begin to fly on their own. 

There were certainly enough mistakes for a while.  My mistakes were for the most part control issues.  When it was pointed out that control has to be transferred to the boys at some point and I am there to help make good decisions.  Slowly it all became more clear and easier.   

There always remained natural  or parental suggested consequences for poor decisions.   If curfew was missed then loss of driving privileges was enacted.  Or if a speeding ticket was received then loss of car was what happened.  That only happened one time and it was harder on me than on the teen. 

The boy’s father and I were consistent in our application of consequences from the time the boys were little.  So they knew when there was a rule broken the punishment would be forth coming. 

Finally there were 3 questions that became popular in our discussions with the boys when they would ask to go somewhere to spend their time.     
  1.        Is it moral?
  2.        Is it legal?
  3.        Does it hurt anyone?
  4.        Would you want Jesus to find you there, doing that?

The boys now are all grown and on their own.   I am proud to say they are great parents and loving spouses.  They are of benefit to society.  Thanks to the Lord for caring for them all.   

Children Learn What They Live



If a child lives with criticism, He learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, He learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule, He learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame, He learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance, He learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement, He learns confidence. 
If a child lives with praise, He learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness, He learns justice. 
If a child lives with security, He learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval, He learns to like himself. 
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, He learns to find love in the world.

I do not take credit for these thoughts.  If I had known them much earlier in my child rearing life I would have done some things differently and hopefully better.    

Monday, May 2, 2011

Hope for the Divorced



Dog Dung, Pond Scum, Slime, The Shame of it all, The Guilt of a failed marriage ... 29 years and I couldn't hold it together any more. Guilt of I'm too fat. I didn't dance enough. I didn’t  laugh enough. I didn't keep my house clean enough. I didn't play enough. I played too much. I didn't do enough. I did too much. I traveled too much. I didn't love enough. I loved too much. He said he was trapped into the marriage.  
When you are one of only 3% of the family and extended family that has experienced divorce and you have come up in church families that teach by example that divorced people are second class citizens, the shame is embedded deeply in your person. It is so deep that after four years of Divorce Care and very loving and supportive family and friends that tell you  you are OK. .. you still can't believe it. The love never gets to the core of the pain, guilt, and shame.
When serving your God is preeminent in your heart and soul and because of the divorce you are told 'you may not serve in our group ' ... you die a little more. Some say if you remarry you will be an adulteress and will make him an adulterer. Others look at you and your marital status of divorced and stand in front of their husbands. (Like I would really look at him and vie for his time and attention.)
It has been four years and four months since the end of my marriage. I have written journals describing the pain, shame, humiliation, and guilt of divorce in an attempt to release the pain from my life. The rejection of the only man I have ever known is ever present in my heart. We met when I was 14 years old. We were high school sweethearts. We graduated from the same high school in 1965. He helped me through nurses training and we reared four sons together. 29 years.... Then divorce.
Small amounts of comfort came as I begged for forgiveness from God. I knew My God cared for me. He catches my tears in a bottle (my bottle is gigantic). My family and friends have supported me. My body supported me too. I have gained 50 pounds since June 1996. And the shame is still there. It is like I wear a great big black letter D embroidered on my clothes. Tears fall easily even now. The anger is still easily felt.
But this week my abundant tears of sorrow have turned to joy. Thanks to a series of events, Bill and Susan Loader were in our church a month or so ago. I expressed my pain to him and he sent me portions of a book on divorce.
Look up Jeremiah 3 and do the 5 W's and an H (inductive Bible study) on it. Jeremiah is not a bullfrog. He is an Old Testament prophet right after Isaiah and he is a friend of mine. The 5 W's and H are Who, What, Where, When, Why and How.
            Note especially Jer. 3:8  “And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce;"   The study ....
            Who? ...... God ............................. What did He do? ....... Put her away
            What else did He do? ..... GAVE her a BILL of Divorce!!!
Who did He give it to? .. .Israel
            Why did He give a bill of divorce? ...... because of her adulteries.
DO YOU SEE what that means????? God has experienced divorced!!! He did all He could to win her back. He gave. He begged. He loved. But she continued to play the harlot along with her sister  Judah………….

God hates divorce as He says in Malachi 2:16. He hates the sin that brings about the divorce. He hates the pain of divorce. He hates the long term effects of divorce, especially on the children. But He has provided guidelines for the possibility of divorce.
The process of divorce is regulated. It is not to be quick and easy. Matthew 18 is to be employed to resolve conflict. Counsel is to be sought… After all is attempted to resolve conflicts then divorce may be sought on certain grounds.

1 am divorced but I will not be put on a shelf and shunned. I now allow all that deep dark pain and hurt to leave. I know my God understands my pain. When I think I am shame I also think  "If I am shame then so is God.  And because He is not, therefore I am not. "
I no longer see myself as dog dung, pond scum, slime. I now take my rightful place in the walk of life as a "child of the King. "
Because of His Word. .. .I am set free. And who He sets free is free indeed.
I now stand fast in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made me free.
In Deuteronomy 30:19 God says, "I set before you life and death. ... choose life."  I choose life.
             The chains of bondage of divorce have been broken from my life. I praise Him!!!      


The above was written a few years ago and I continue to refer to it and give it to friends and family for their help and edification.  Feel free to send your friends and family to this to help them.   

Sunday, May 1, 2011

How to be Healthy, Wealthy and Wise



     God says, "My child, never forget the things I have taught you.  Store my commands in your heart.  If you do this, you will live many years, and your life will be satisfying.  Never let loyalty and kindness leave you!  Tie them around your neck as a reminder.  Write them deep within your heart.  Then you will find favor with both God and people, and you will earn a good reputation. 
     
     Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.  Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.  Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom.  Instead, fear the Lord and turn away from evil.  Then you will have healing for your body and strength for your bones.  Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the best part of everything you produce.  Then he will fill your barns with grain,  and your vats will overflow with good wine.  My child, don’t reject the Lord’s discipline, and don’t be upset when he corrects you.  For the Lord corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights."

     Joyful is the person who finds wisdom, the one who gains understanding.  For wisdom is more profitable than silver, and her wages are better than gold.  Wisdom is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her.  She offers you long life in her right hand, and riches and honor in her left.  She will guide you down delightful paths; all her ways are satisfying.  Wisdom is a tree of life to those who embrace her; happy are those who hold her tightly.
     
     By wisdom the Lord founded the earth;  by understanding he created the heavens.  By his knowledge the deep fountains of the earth burst forth, and the dew settles beneath the night sky.


      My child, don’t lose sight of common sense and discernment.  Hang on to them, for they will refresh your soul.  They are like jewels on a necklace.  They keep you safe on your way, and your feet will not stumble.  You can go to bed without fear; you will lie down and sleep soundly.  You need not be afraid of sudden disaster or the destruction that comes upon the wicked, for the Lord is your security.  He will keep your foot from being caught in a trap.

     Do not withhold good from those who deserve it when it’s in your power to help them.  If you can help your neighbor now, don’t say, “Come back tomorrow, and then I’ll help you.”  Don’t plot harm against your neighbor, for those who live nearby trust you.  Don’t pick a fight without reason, when no one has done you harm.  Don’t envy violent people or copy their ways.  Such wicked people are detestable to the Lord, but he offers his friendship to the godly.  The Lord curses the house of the wicked, but he blesses the home of the upright.  The Lord mocks the mockers but is gracious to the humble.  The wise inherit honor,       but fools are put to shame!

Proverbs 3 (New Living Translation)

     
     Do you see all the promises for all the "things" we seem to desire in this earth?  To have health and wealth and to be wise we must Trust the Lord.   
Instructions have been available all this time.  We just need to search them out.  


Your background....

I do not take credit for this math but think it is really cool.....
     Next time you feel rather unimportant, try a little arithmetic.  It took two people, your parents, to get you here.  Each of your parents had two parents.  In the generation just prior to that, there were four people that paired off, shared their love, and contributed to your existence.
     YOU ARE the product of 8 grandparents, 16 great grandparents, etc.  Keep multiplying by 2 using an average of 25 years between each generation.  You will learn that 500 years ago it took 2,097,150 fore-bearers to produce YOU.....
     Pretty awesome, Huh?


It all started in the Garden

     When I started to rear our sons, I was totally impressed with a story I heard.  It was about a father and a child as they worked and played in the garden in India.  The child was within view of the father.  As the father looked up from the lettuce patch he saw a very poisonous snake close to the child with evil in its eye.  The father called for the child to run to him instantly.  The child obeyed and ran to the safety the father provided.
     Can you imagine what would have happened if the child had been hesitant in his obedience?
     I have heard it quoted, "Delayed obedience is disobedience."  In this instance delayed obedience could have resulted in the death of the child.
     This story also brings to mind that how a child obeys his/her parent is exactly how the parent has taught him/her to obey.  The much scarier thought is that how the child obeys the parent is exactly how he/she will obey the Heavenly Father.  Is God the Father pleased with how you obey Him?  Is He pleased with how your children obey you/Him?
     May we all be very careful to "Train up a child in the way he should go...."  Proverbs 22:6