God is perfectly direct and clear with His command to get rid of bitterness: Hebrews 12:15 - Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; Then in Eph 4:31 - Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
Let's look at the synonyms for bitterness, We see varying degrees of "harshness, resentment, grudge, animosity, hostility, indignation, anger, venom, spitefulness, maliciousness, sarcasm, testiness, viciousness, malice, jealousy or envy, grumbling, inability to forgive".
Bitterness is contagious, painful, and if left to grow, can be deadly. So you say you aren't bitter? When we are bitter toward another, we may speak with sarcasm about or to this one. Although this may be humorous to many, it is a sad sign of what is in our hearts. When we are bitter toward another, we may wish other people shared our feelings toward that person and use spiteful rumor-spreading to encourage this.
The bitter roots are not limited to our own bodies and lives. A little bitterness goes a long way to influence others to be bitter toward another. When one parent is sarcastic about or towards the other parent in front of the children, the children then think that is the appropriate way to speak or act. Or, if parents "roast" the preacher for lunch each Sunday afternoon, (or the teacher at the evening supper table) the children then adopt that attitude. Children mimic what they see and hear, so even if you believe your bitterness is well-hidden, it will get "advertised" by your children's attitudes and behavior.
I can always tell how the parents talk about me in the home by the way the children act toward me.
How can bitterness be deadly? Very easily. When bitterness exists, it will grow, just as a tree grows - putting down roots and then growing limbs and leaves, feeding on every negative word or thought that comes from the mouth or mind. Before long the heart and digestive system can be "strangled" with the roots - contributing to heart attacks, spastic colons, ulcers and other physical problems. If allowed to continue, the physical life of the person may actually end.
Bitterness can kill your relationships with others: friends and family feel your bitterness and do not enjoy being around you.
Spiritually, one who is bitter suffers lack of communication with the Lord. He is so consumed with the hurt that has been caused that he is unable to get past that block of bitterness. He looses the fellowship, the peace, the JOY of being close to God. How terrifying!
Think of Saul: bitterness grew in Saul for 30 years. He attempted murder of David and Jonathan; he was disobedient to God and eventually committed suicide.
Possibly, someone has caused us great pain, recently or long ago. Our response to this hurt \is our CHOICE: to allow the root of bitterness to take hold and even grow larger in our bodies or to remove the root by starving it or ripping it out.
How do you remove the root of bitterness? - by not feeding it with thought, deed or word and then by pulling the root out and disposing of it. STOP immediately when you begin thinking about the hurt or about the person who caused that hurt. Refuse to continue the thoughts that feed the growth
of bitterness. Replace those thoughts with thoughts of love and forgiveness. Eventually the bitterness will die and you can truly be free of the strangle-hold it has on your life.
Charles Stanley has given an outline on a cure for bitterness:
1. Get alone and acknowledge that bitterness is FUTILE and CHOOSE to put it aside. Recognize that only you have the responsibility for your actions and reactions.
2. Acknowledge that God will deal with the offending one (Deut 32:35A - "Vengeance is mine, I will repay")
3. Make three lists: how you've been offended; your own faults and how you have offended others; and all the things God has forgiven you for.
4. In prayer and with humility, ask God to help you to see the person who has wronged you as His tool to develop you into the person He wants you to be. Totally and completely forgive the other person.
5. Ask God to forgive you for all the bitterness in your heart. Totally and completely receive God's forgiveness.
6. Finally, ask the other person to forgive you for the bitterness you have held in your heart. Personally I would not do this. The person will know you have forgiven him by your loving actions.
7. Repeat these steps as many times as required to completely release the bitterness in your heart.
If you have your eyes fixed on Jesus, knowing He is the only one who had a right to be bitter (and He wasn't), and you truly repent of your unforgiving heart, you will remove the roots of bitterness that strangle your body and be able to accept the forgiveness that God, by His Grace, so fully gave to His children.
Bitterness enslaves us, Forgiveness frees us as nothing else!! Please, dear friends, get rid of all bitterness.
Finally, commit this scripture to your heart: Ephesians 4:32 - BE KIND TO ONE ANTOHER, TENDERHEARTED, FORGIVING ONE ANOTHER, EVEN AS GOD FOR CHRlST'S SAKE FORGAVE
YOU.
YOU.
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